Sometimes I feel like I get ahead of myself while thinking about life to come, and I constantly find myself wishing I was already married with two kids and a farm. I even go as far as to make a list of baby names on my phone, look at wedding dresses, etc. But, I always end up depressed and sad when I check back into reality becuase I know it's years away.
I can't seem to get it in my head that I am only 19, I still have 3.5 years of college left before starting a career, and I still live at home. Is it bad for me to want to grow up so fast and have my own place and family so soon, is it unrealistic... probably. But somedays I just can't help it, I feel myself grow more and more impatient wanting things I can't have yet.
I have my own wedding planned out in my head, and I know a lot of other girls do too. I can't tell if I am just impatinet or just exicted for the future.
Thinking of the future makes me happy when I think about the family I'll raise and the farm we'll live on, but it stresses me out a lot as well. All the bills I'll have, all the things that could go wrong, and especially raising children in the world we are living in with everything going on now. There are so many what if's and unanswered questions.
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